So last Tuesday I had very briefly brought up pausing. I had said that, “I feel it is time to pause, same time as I wonder how can I possibly pause now?” It seems my sense was right that a pause was looming. Unfortunately sometimes these things are forced upon us and can come in packages that we would rather not receive.
Wednesday morning as I sat down to finish up those last edits to my book that had been hanging over my head, my computer crashed. Ugh!!!!! Crap! I was seriously upset. Furious! Our computer is less than two months old and now something is seriously wrong with it! There was nothing more for me to do but be mad so I decided to just go outside to sit and release as much of the heavy emotion as I could. Heaven knows with this unforeseen vacancy I now had the time for it.
I brought a pen and paper with just in case anything inspiring came up to write about. I had recently started journaling for myself about my experience in nature, as it has been showing up as a common theme in my life, so I guess I did kind of appreciate this open time to sit, look, and listen to the world outside. It made me wonder if the annoying and disheartening crash I had suffered came with a tagging purpose: to be alone outside. So there I was and writing like mad, ideas flooding and words coming in waves to fill the pages. Perhaps they are things that will someday in someway come through in a book or a blog but in that moment it was just a nice little stash of time for me, gifted through an inconvenient but perhaps purposeful turn of events.
Isn’t that the truth? That that’s how it goes sometimes, in the most unwanted of circumstances arises newly created space for a new venture or state of being to pop up. Sometimes the pregnant pause is masked behind illness, a traffic jam, loss of a job, or like me, a computer crashing. These are never the scenarios that we would wish for but sometimes they are exactly what we need.
My day did end up being a good one. And a further backing for the sudden pause came up later as I read my horoscope for the month by D.K. Brainard in the online Edge Magazine. It read (for Libra): “Hold off on any life-defining acts (me: like releasing a book?) until the Sun moves out of your 12th house at the Equinox. You’re going to make significant life changes in the coming weeks, but you’ll have much more personal power at your disposal once the Sun moves into your sign on the 22nd.” Hmmm… Perhaps the plot will thicken in my life and perhaps these journals are part of that gestation period. Only time will tell. I love reading D.K.’s horoscopes and this one was a nice confirmation for my day’s trouble.
D.K.’s general horoscope for the month is that, “life lurches forward mid-month as heavyweight outer planets Uranus and Pluto square off, pushing us to new levels of self-transformation. There’s no turning back now, so we’ve got to get exceptionally real about what we want to create and dive right into it.”
I love his monthly predictions! If you too are interested in your personal horoscope for this month check it out here at: http://www.edgemagazine.net/2012/09/star-wisdom-September-2012/