The other day I found myself in conversation saying something that I didn’t even know I was saying until it was out of my mouth. I heard myself admit that I really try hard to push my career as a writer to happen. Also, that I know right now I’m home as a Mom and in 3 years when both kids are in school I’ll have all the time to make it happen, but for now, I’m Mom.
Yes, it is true, I am very driven, and sometimes it is a huge distraction for me. There are times when it does pull me away from my primary focus of being a Mom even though I know my kids are only young for a short time. It is also true, that there is a time for everything and as much as I want to, “make-it” as a writer I want to enjoy my time as a Mom even more. I have the whole rest of my life to succeed as a writer.
After having this conversation and opening to its insight I saw two swans flying up above the trees near the river. One of the messages of swan from Animal Spirit Guides by Steven Farmer is that, “It’s important to accept your life circumstances and surrender to the will of Spirit, trusting that all will work out.” So that’s where I set my intention. Not to give up or to stop trying but to come at it from a different perspective, one in which I surrender to not having to have the outcome be a certain way. Investing more in building experience and less in getting the golden ticket.
The funny thing is as soon as I made up my mind to surrender to the process and stop pushing against the natural flow of things some really exciting things opened up for me. It’s like I somehow was creating my own resistance by trying too hard and once I let go, divine flow was able to open up for me a little bit more. For instance, I had a couple of people contact me to do energy readings on them, I got booked to read at a school’s, “I Love Books!” event, I got an email about taking a painting class, and I entered my book Our Home, The Earth into some contests, and all of this in the same day, the day after I conceded to God to surrender.
I don’t know where any of these new experiences will take me but I am open to enjoying the moments more and worrying less about what’s next and that feels… freeing.