From Day 58 of transcribing my journal:
This was such a sweet moment for me. I hadn’t rocked my daughter to sleep since she was 4 months old and somehow on this particular day things aligned for me to be able to do so and this is what happened…
So here I was holding onto this little golden nugget. My darling baby girl, sweet and silent in my arms. I could feel my hands start to pulse as I held her. One hand on her bottom and one on her head. I called in our teams (spiritual guides and angels) to work together for our highest good and opened myself to allow whatever energy was to flow through me to her. Captured in this moment and in this divine flow, it was as if we were both being nursed by a divine mother. Grace delivered.
With her sweet little face still turned up towards me I stared at her. And took in the great detail noticing the small and delicate features of her face. Her little nose, her little lips, her little cheeks. Her hair flaxen and gold and how it shined in the light that glimmered through from the darkness of the room. Then all of a sudden I could see her through my eyes, my spirit eyes, those that see much deeper than the beauty of her skin. Those that invoke the sight to see into her soul.
Her face looked like a tiny little pink flower blooming with perfection amidst a green forest floor. Her petals stretched beyond her, so delicate, a pale rosy pink and her eager face turned upward to see the world from among the blanket of green. Then I took notice of her surroundings. All around her I could see tall, huge, massive trees towering up from the forest floor. They felt like Redwoods they were so mammoth and carried such great godly presence. And then from the hollows I heard, “Is the little pink flower no more important than the tall standing tree? No more a miracle in its own being and beauty as the tree is?”
“All things big and small are beautiful and important. Each is created with the light of God’s hand. We should have reverence for all things in the material worlds. To treat them with respect, with love, and gratitude for their being. For you are all sharing this space for the time being.”
In that moment holding Marin and hearing the words that were shared comparing my baby, a tiny delicate flower, to those who tower over her like trees, adults, I could see the equality of the two break through. Although she may be small and fragile like a flower (a flower cup flashes in my mind) and not tall and strong like a tree or an adult she is equally a miracle in her own right. She is equally valuable and a blessing. And she equally holds her own sacred space amongst all life. A sight to behold. Something awe-inspiring and grand. Crafted by Gods hand, I hold her gently in my own. Gentle; this word sticks with me. I have not been gentle today, with my temper, with my children, and at times with myself. And yet here I am totally gifted by the gentleness of this sacred moment and in it touched by the gentleness of God, the gentleness of spirit, and the divine communication I am open to.